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Distorted Thoughts

from Thoughts Of An Introvert EP by Antwan Valentino

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Woah! Shit just got real...
I remember getting high and drunk to write this. I passed out in my shed on my roommates couch writing this song.
My friends were concerned for me after listening to this song.

lyrics

Sometimes I try to figure out what is wrong with me
Like I can diagnose myself, make it all history
Cuz even sittin down, tryin to write this thang out
I feel insecure what my mind's thinkin bout
Like maybe I should just cool out on this beat
I don't need to get introspective or too deep
But sometimes I just go so much shit on my chest
And all this day to day penny pinchin got me feelin stressed
I channel, my anger, through my raps I'm dependent
So I gotta write somethin, it's been a minute since I vented
I can't shake the feelin I'm destined for greatness
But stuck on level one, the same place as the fakest
I haven't the faintest, idea how to build
Relationships and so empty I feel
But no Dr. Phil, I don't need no prescription
Just promise me you'll focus on the words and just listen
But this disposition I have about life
Has to be unhealthy cuz I act out of fright
Like if I let somebody close to me that noticed me
They'd leave me stretched out emotionally, like some hosiery
So now I'm in a pickle with my raps and that's a fact
I want the world to love me and I wanna love them back
But no I can't relate, nor can I concentrate
When people in my presence and they're tryin to conversate
I try to talk to people and I quickly realize
That I don't really care about none of their lives
Like whose cousin's weddin, Peru was the settin
The sun was just settin, my coma just set it
It's just my boredom, thoughts are distortin
Girls, I don't court em, cuz I can't afford em
Not financially, I mean substantially
I'm askin bout your dreams baby girl, won't you answer me?
I ain't got time for this, steady on my grind and it's
A million things I'd rather do than going out to find a bitch
Every great man needs a woman behind em
Like every fake rapper needs a label to sign em
And I'm just tryin to find my own way through this life
Start up my career and I ain't lookin for a wife
I ain't tryin to have kids until I accomplish
What I need, or else I'd be the victim of my conscience
It's not fair to me, to give up on my dreams
And it's not fair to my seed if I can't give them things
That they need, diapers, bottles, a blanky
I'm trying to be responsible, I thought that you would thank me
Still my time is short, my umbilical cord
Is about to be snipped off from this simple world
So I have to buckle down, or I am in trouble now
Didn't go to college, so I can't just go another route
Mind is overwhelmed with doubt, now I have to think about
All my past decisions, and my confidence is shrinkin now
Man I can't believe how many days
I done slaved away at this trade, still nothin pays
Friends are makin progress, advancin through life
Live by doing what I love I can't do this right
Money's in the red, I already spent thousands
But when I listen to the songs I made I feel proud and
Remind myself just how far that I've come
Keepin in mind that I'm also not done
Shoot for the moon and I reach for the sun
Please keep in mind that I'm also not done

credits

from Thoughts Of An Introvert EP, released April 22, 2015

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about

Antwan Valentino California

Hailing from SLO County, CA.

I have previously, as well as currently, rap my ass off, and I will continue to do so in the foreseeable future.

Your support ensures I win the never-ending battle with existential depression.

Thank you and have a good day!
... more

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